“I am a parent to someone working in the sex-industry”

    • 0
    150 150 Strip Church
    You are a parent and you discover that your beloved son or daughter is working in the sex- industry and you are devastated. Everything flashes through your mind from “whose hands are they in and what are they going through or being exposed to?” to “what if our friends and family find out?”  You remember back to their childhood when they blew bubbles, played with dolls or cars and their purity and innocence was preserved. And of course underneath it all is the big question: “What can or should I do?” 

    First, let me tell you that you are not alone. We get emails and phone calls regularly from parents who discover their children are working as dancers, escorts, or in pornography. While we are not counselors and we don’t have all the answers, we can offer encouragement and support and some suggestions to help you love your son or daughter right where they are. Here are some suggested Do’s and Don’ts:

    Do:

    • Reassure them that you still love them and support them and most importantly that God does too.
    • Cover them in love. The bible tells us that Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). It is up to them to share this information with others not you. It is understandable for you to seek support and guidance from a few trusted people but discussing this with people who really cannot speak into it is in vain and will only further distance your child from you potentially destroying your relationship.
    • Ask appropriate questions e.g. “Are you happy with your job? Do you feel safe? Do you need any extra support?” Don’t debate their answers.  Don’t treat them or those they work with as if they have no dignity or have sold their soul.
    • PRAY. Never underestimate the power of your prayers. Nothing falls deaf on God’s ears. Nothing. Remember that your child is important to Him and He longs to move in their life.

    Don’t:

    • Get angry if they’ve been deceptive or kept this a secret from you. This is not the type of thing one usually wants to write home about.
    • Assume the worst. There are a lot of stereotypes about sex-industry workers that do not apply to everyone and it doesn’t necessarily mean that your son or daughter fits into any of those categories or your preconceived ideas.
    • Try to talk them out of it. They are an adult and have made this decision as an adult regardless of the reasons you may or may not think are behind that decision. [If your child is under 18 and you’ve discovered this information then please call your local authorities or Children of the Night (24 hour hotline: 1.800.551.1300 for some counsel]
    • Expose or embarrass them. The last thing you want to do is out them to other family members or community. As mentioned in the DO section– love them where they are and COVER them in that love. Keeping in mind that doesn’t mean to ignore the situation, it just means that you realize you cannot control it.

    We have some great reading recommendations for parents of sex-industry workers:

    The Power of a Praying for Your Adult Children

    Boundaries

    Jesus Loves You…This I Know

    Letting Go of Our Adult Children

    Prayers for Prodigals

    How to Really Love Your Adult Child

    Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children

    When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

    Cherished

    Fallen

    Surrendered Showgirl

    How To Pick Up A Stripper

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • 0
    2 comments
    • Tired Mama
      REPLY

      What do I say when people ask me what my daughter does? I get so suspicious and paranoid that they already know . I’ve been avoiding some close friends for fear that they will continue to probe me on it. I don’t want to lie and tell them something not true, but I don’t want them to know the truth. Only a few very close family members are aware and are very supportive. So I dont need to talk about it with everybody. Please guide me.

      • Michelle
        REPLY

        Hey Tired mama,

        You don’t owe anyone any explanations as to what your daughter does or why she does it.
        And you don’t need to feel any shame either should you choose to share. Hold your head up high
        knowing that your daughter is just as valuable as anyone else’s child and that her job doesn’t define her regardless of what it is.

        God bless you!
        Michelle

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.